My Diary May 2014 Onwards

 

Vote

 

formal expression of opinion or choice,

 either positive or negative,

made by an individual

or body of individuals

Yep

I know

Have not written

for a while

Let me tell you why

It stalked me

for months

whilst devouring my will

my strength

my confidence

leaving me

in a heap

of muscle spasms

every time

I try to work

I did not know

misinterpreted

my body's desperate signals

alas had I acted

now I pay

the dreaded

SUGAR

So shall we pay

the invader

camouflaged as our

saviours

the one's that

"set us free"

just to throw

us to the wolves

they ply us

with the poisoned chalice

the sugar coated

promises

the plagiarised story

they lure us

with their wealth

and abundance

as if

they would share

then they

rob us of all

even our dignity

do not despair

You have a weapon

more powerful

than their Army

their security cluster

their financial clout

You can fell

them

with one mighty blow

Take up your x

make it count

use millions of

tiny cuts

to bleed the dragon dry

as our Almighty Lord

gave us the Cross

so He gave us

a voice

take up your x

place it carefully

and begin their demise

let them remember

who put them

in their palaces

placed them at the trough

to indulge

their excess

Smite the dragon

Vote

May peace and love

be with you my brothers and sisters

and may the Almighty

hear your voice

and bless you

profusely

he hears the voice

of a lonely sparrow

so he hears yours

a shadow of

His image

Amen

doulos

 

 

                                                                                                                                       I Cry

 

 

Just Do It

The final nail

Have mercy

Hammer it in

I will rather suffer

Another decade

Of loveless misery

Cold and alone

In love’s bed

We shared

For so long

Than one more

Torment

One more

Brutal attack

On my dignity

One more

Cold shoulder

When I bleed

Helpless

Bound by needles

In my veins

Incessant machines

Aiding the torture

Our after hour

I died

Long ago

Thrice I did

My battered

Body

A useless

Obese cage

My forgotten

Manhood

A flaccid spear

Your abuse

Breaks down

Every fibre

Grinds my groin

Harpoon

My aching heart

Relentlessly

The kindness

The love

The beauty

I still love

And cherish

Meant only

For others

Not me

You use

As the

Hammer

To add more

Nails

I must

Pay

The price

You put

On their lies

Just do it

Ad the final nail

My darling

I beg you

And release

Me

From hell

So my dear friends

I finally write it

If the shoe fits

Wear it

If you dare

Walk one mile

In these shoes

Or be silent

Peace and love be with you

My brothers and sisters

And may the final nail

Be spared you because

It was used on Christ

To save us

For Ever

Amen

doulos

Earth boy

 

six boys on a farm
in the Free State
next to the Wilger River
Pelting each other with
balls of mud
at the end of Willow branches
all naked, two white, four black
soon they all were
the colour of earth
the black sticky Freestate turf
clinging to their bodies
a middle aged portly man
in a Township
on the dusty plains
at Frankfort SA
is greeted by a young woman
"Hallo Uncle Frans",
what are you doing here?"
I barely recognised her
she was a Domestic worker
In Primrose
now she is a proud mother
studying Engineering
I took acquaintances
to a wedding
in this forlorn place
I was the only Pale face
in the entire place
I stood in the dusty church yard
watching,observing
the stark contrast
between the dusty, bleak  township
and the Oasis of green
half a kilometre away
where those with my skin-color live
The haves and have not's
co existing either side
of a manmade divide
My earliest recollections of Frankfort
was a Uncle's farm
next to the river
My cousin and I hunting
with air rifle's
Farmworkers boys joining us
in the hunt
armed with barbed wire
and two granite stones at each end
that they flung through the air
at the fleeing Guinea fowl
They had a kill
we did not
then the mud war started
afterwards, with the mud
drying on our naked bodies
we sat together around a little fire
roasting a freshly killed bird
we did not speak each others language
hunting was our language
playing our communication
 our nakedness natural
our pigmentation oblivious
those were the days
now nearly five decades later
the communities still divided
I am a guest at a wedding
the people are warm
they accept me with open arms
Inside me my soul is tormented
I rue the sickness
of  forced separation
It could have been so different
I dream of a united Dorp
people of all races mixing freely
united by their love
for the African soil
alas twenty years of Democracy
 have not reached Frankfort yet
Wake up my people
Mede Afrikaners skrik wakker
ons mis so baie
julle weet en ek weet
dit is hartseer
en n traan plof
in die stowwerige grond
ek ween
ek is hartseer
ek mis
die kleilat geveg
langs die Wilgerivier
ek mis my jagmaats
op die plaas
in die Vrystaat
Peace and love be with you
my fellow South Africans
of all hues and colours
may God's Grace
be with you
may you be blessed
forever
Amen
doulos

Frost

 

 

We only have two months

Of really cold winter

In my beloved Africa

Occasional snow

Falls mainly on major

Mountain ranges

Yet the cold

Has settled in me

the frost of discontent

 pinpricks in my toes

and my fingertips

the dreary landscape

the brown dry grass

the dust everywhere

only brings sadness

I welcome the white frost

To ad character

To the desolation

Then I am in the Free State

A golden sunrise

Gently crawls

Over the horizon

Washing the fields

With amber

A crisp pale blue sky

A backdrop

For the vast expanse

Of grazing

Dotted with cattle and sheep

Pockets of poplars

Enclaves of life

Announce the presence

Of people

A warm farm kitchen

A hot pot of coffee

On the stove

Fired with dried corn cobs

Light filters through

The windows

And form shadows

Where old people stay

Long forgotten

But ever present

They linger on

I sit at the large wooden table

Savouring the Smokey aroma

Sipping coffee

Out of a chipped enamel mug

Birdsong a far distant

And pleasant distraction

To my childhood dreams

 May Peace and love

warm your hearts

my brothers and sisters

forever

Amen

doulos

Fibre

 

 

Stone cold

Cast in granite

Are the hearts of men

Who forsakes their humanity

They have ideals

They have ideology

They have dogma

To blame

For their barbarism

Colour or culture

Has nothing to do with it

The brutality bestowed

On their fellow man

Is spared no one

Bludgeoning a woman

For her political choice

Or torturing your wife

With nails in her breasts

Shrien or Oscar?

Make your choice

Amcu or Boko Haram?

Hitler or Amin?

Cain did it

King David also

They killed

For jealousy and lust

Our Society is sick

The fabric of our being

Is  unravelled

String by string

We do not spare

The innocent

We discard babies

On ash heaps

Like rubbish

We justify ourselves

With senseless rhetoric

Economic freedom

In our Lifetime

Sounds so good

Even coming out

Of the mouths of fools

It is time

We return to sanity

Time to revisit

Our humaneness

Time to soften

Our hearts

And sharpen our senses

Time to stop

The demise

Of our people

We need leaders

With vision

With resolve

With compassion

With an understanding

Of the real issues

Wise men and women

Unafraid of adversity

We do not need

The wilted spear

Of a man

Without a conscience

The stick figures portrayed

Men hunting

To feed their families

Not men hunting

Their own species

To extinction

We evolved

Into animals

Senseless beasts

We forsake our souls

On the altar of greed

Peace and love be with you

My brothers and sisters

And may you regain

Your humanity

Forever

Amen

doulos  
 

Grace

 

He knew

He expected a hit on him

He warned his son

Alas it came

Unexpected and lightning fast

His gun hanging useless at his side

He had no chance

It was brutal

Two cold blooded assailants

Emptying their magazines

They came to kill him

It is obvious

His daughters and grandchildren

Escaped unharmed

They attacked the cab of the Combi

With military precision

They feared him

He had to die

I counted 20 bullet holes

All aimed at the driver

His body was riddled with them

Thankfully

He was still recognisable

His face was serene

Peaceful

He knew

That was

God’s final Grace

To this Father

The day he was murdered

I looked

At the body

Not showing emotion

Inside me was a storm

Waiting to be unleashed

These bastardly cowards

Did it out of greed

They have no morals

No respect for life

We are all born into sin

And be you the one

To cast the first stone

No one deserves

To die like this

I knew this man

Calm, a rock

To his family

He nourished

And protected them

He was loved and respected

I know

He knew

Therefore the calm

Peaceful death mask

We shall bury him

With respect and dignity

We shall restrain ourselves

From retribution

It serves no purpose

To fuel violence

In this lawless land

Let the universe

Deal with them

Let their demons

Ride them bareback into hell

We shall unite as a family

Protect and nourish

His descendants

With the love and care

He would have afforded them

Peace and love be with you

My brothers and sisters

May God’s Grace

Spare you

The ravishes of life

For ever

Amen

doulos

Empty

In memory of Panda
to Louis Koza
My dear child
I know
the pain
the emptiness inside
he was ripped away
you awaited
him walking
you down the isle
and now
on that
joyous day
you have to
bury your Daddy
I wish
I could
bring him back
I wish I could tell you
just how much he loved you
I know girl
I am a Daddy
He shall be there child
In your veins
soothing the pain
in the morning light
in the dawn
in your children's smiles
in your mother's touch
in uncles and cousins
and little boys too
in your husband child
he lives on
in you
May Jesus
hold you tight
in his loving arms
and may he
show your
Father
you are Ok
because that is
what he would
have wanted
he would give
his life
for you
his little girl
I am so sorry Louise
I weep with you
my heart aches
like all fathers
I know
may peace and love be with you
and may God's Grace
sooth your pain
Forever
love
doulos

O

Twisted circle
ring of love
infinity
eternity
a line that never ends
we fall in love
why do we not rise in love?
we get a ring
we swop rings
and it is forever
it is a farce
the only part
representing forever
is the result
of us swapping
bodily fluids
children
family
a lineage
from Adam
to us
and then?
nothing?
heaven?
Hell?
we know not the hour
when we shall be deceased
death came knocking
reminding us
of our fragile state
it was brutal
sudden
final
I believe
it is not final
I believe
humans
are eternal
because I believe
I am called religious
I am not
Religion
is man's solution
to man's inability
to comprehend
beyond his flesh
we made rules
and we designed rituals
we added words
and a God or Gods
we  follow
this religion
we created
like sheep
we are yet
to discover
ourselves
yet we are so arrogant
to think
we have solutions
for life
it is personal
you and you alone
are responsible
for your life
why do you need
instruction
indoctrination
influence
from others?
find your maker
the reason
for your
existence
and you will
find yourself
life will find you
life will teach you
the universe
will show you
who you are
whether you
have religion
or are an atheist
Christianity
appeals to me
the dogma of love
resonates in me
vibrates with my being
makes sense
out of
no sense
it connected
me to my
creator
who found me
not me it
it is
what I know
all I know
it comforts
nourishes
fulfils
the yearning
in me
so now
I know
I am eternal
and death
no more
withholds me
from life
My peace and love be with you
my brothers and sisters
for eternity
Amen
doulos




cocky

Cowboy with huge cock
My cock is on the block literally
I went to bed
with cock bashing in my ears
woke up four o clock
with cocky waking up
 the entire neighbourhood
you could say
my cock is on the block
all because I wanted to
buy a birdie
for my grandchild
I named him cockey
now it has become
a cocknundrum of note
I felt like chocking the little bugger
but what respectable man
will be caught
chocking his chicken
that time of the morning ?
felt like stuffing him
but then
who would want
cockey stuffed down their throat
at such an ungodly hour
it has not happened
in my house
for the last ten years
I refuse to kill cockey
no man can do so
with a clear conscious
I told wifey
to advise the neighbours
that they are welcome
to do the deed
if they so wish
cockey brought it on himself
he has to announce
the new
day
every minute
for three hours
without taking a breath
All the women in the house
all four of them
are cock haters
all of a sudden
all but three
knows cocks
since childhood
tended them themselves
like only
country girls can
50 ways to kill your cock
50 shades of grey
what is the difference
when it is your cock
it is a huge difference
definitely not a tiny matter
just look at him
so beautiful
I feel like I have known him
all my life
playing with him
does not help
training him
out of the question
never was there
a more stubborn cock
so my dear compatriots
all the cock lovers
in the world knows,
male and female alike,
know how I feel
or do they
peace and love be with you
my brothers and sisters
ad keep your cocks safe
by keeping it to yourself
doulos