My Diary August 2014 onwards

Spring

 

Cold steel coils
are my nerves
petrified. frozen
pelting me
stinging my being
then slowly
earth thaws
lazy winter sun
thawing them
slowly,surely
they uncoil
soothed by
 the warmth
I forget the pain
the anguish
and the strain
bad debts
and catastrophe
bad news
melancholy
heavy heart
drained
no vitality
the bird song
sorrowful
the butterfly wings
caterpillar grey
my hands
beggars
crying for
work
my feat
dragging
reluctant
to move
and then
one drop
another
red, blue,yellow
rays
light up
my tired eyes
reminding
them
of their purpose
to act
as windows
of my
beautiful
vibrant soul
the pine
for youth
for spring
melting
away
with early rays
of energy
at last
I welcome
the rebirth
of spring
peace and love be with you
my lively brothers and sisters
may spring always return
in your lives, your hearts
forever
amen
doulos


night

My child fears the dark
I did too
that robe behind the door
morphed into a monster
every sound
approaching danger
 I shut
my eyes tight
to blank out
the dark
There is no night
only earth shadow
50 shades of grey
a kaleidoscope
 of  colour
 black
is merely
the absence
of light
and we
but a shadow
of God
be patient
do not move
the daylight
is approaching
you are
in stationary
 motion
never still
always vibrating
in unison
with the
universe
they colour
black and whit film
simply because
they can
great grandma
a blushing baby
seems more familiar
more human
you are not broke
only lack money
your empty  wallet
reverberating
last month's pay
you are not sad
just forgetful
of the joy
that lit up
your eyes
your soul
may leave
your body
but your
consciousness
remains forever
peace and love be with you
my colourful brothers and sisters
forever
amen
doulos



Bittersweet

Mara or Miriam
A little orphaned
"Bushman" girl

Meriam and Sudanese woman
escaped death
after being accused of apostasy
had and audience
with the Pope
ok
No Politics
no religion
I do not write
to comment
or take sides
I write to unite
to stimulate debate
An Afrikaner, a Jew and an Arab
walks into a bar
ouch
I hear indignation
and shouts of
Apostasy, Heresy, Meshubah
It is not
Kosher,Halaal or Heilig
and that my friends
is the problem
that is the root
of most
of
the  hatred
the intolerance
the conflict
in the world
So Miriam
hid Moses
and later
was in trouble
because
of "racism"
towards Moses's
 Cushite wife
It is all
black and white
can u see that?
or do u see
grey
I see
colour
vibrant
beautiful
joyous
full colour
I see love
the answer
to a troubled world
Will we
never learn?
for how long longer
will we fight
one another
based on
"what others say"
what books "say"
instead
of
"what I know"
it is simple
it is pure
it is in
each of us
the knowledge
is in us
and we can
live peacefully
as soon
as we grow up
a name
that means
bitterness
through many ages
a name
given
to numerous girls
through the ages
represents
our prejudice
for all to see
Love and peace
be with you
my brothers and sisters
bitter and sweet alike
forever
amen
doulos



Raw

Killing me softly
with your passion
tearing at each other
and into another
hurting,healing
ecstasy
feeling
we explode
into oblivion
soaring on
dopamine
relief
instant
lasting
until?
it is raw
war
see saw
human
humane
earthy
base
the result?
Life
so it starts
again and again
when will we learn?
it takes one man
one clear mind
one heart
to stop war
the curse
of man
ever wonting
yet we know
all us know
the line
is fine
in love and war
a genius
a lunatic
two sides
to a coin
it takes
a conscious mind
to find
ecstasy
good or bad
just say it
just do it
make peace
now
or relive
the madness
of war
peace and love be with you
my beloved brothers and sisters
forever
amen
doulos

Wrath

 

 

I do not preach

Though a preacher’s son

Lately I get irritated

With man’s total disrespect

For human life

And all life

For that matter

I notice the “what if brigade”

Of the History channel

Referring to

Their Alien Creators

Even  Jonah is not spared

He was not swallowed

By a fish

Noooo he was

In an Alien

Underwater craft

For three days

Says those

 with bad hair

I know

The Bible

Sometimes sounds like

Pure fiction

Even Einstein

Had his doubts

So man

Carries on oblivious

Murdering, raping

and ravaging

as if there is no tomorrow

no one gets spared

not babies

not women nor children

or animals

I am a Christian

And I believe

In love

I understand

The dogma of love

I am instructed

To love

My God,

my neighbour

And myself

Even my enemies

There is

A callous recklessness

Towards life

Our morals

Our conscious

Neglected

And forgotten

We bay for blood

We are angry

We want revenge

We hate

Life itself

As we hate all

Who oppose us

So the aliennites

 

(spelling intended)

Are preparing

Their exodus

To outer space

To flee

The impending

Armageddon

That are sure to

Result

From this barbaric

Band of humans

I want to

Remind them

Remind all

Of only

One verse

Of the Holy Book

“Vengeance is mine,

I will repay, says the Lord.”

Lest

I preach

Fire and brimstone

I ask you

Observe

The Universe

Observe

The beauty of life

Observe

The order

And the

Unimaginable magnitude

Of all

Creation

Listen

To the little voice

Of

Your conscious

You hold

Eternal life

As your

Inheritance

Do not debase

Yourself

And know

Revenge

Belongs to

The creator

Of all

That man

Endeavours

To destroy

Peace and love be with you

My brothers and sisters

Forever

Amen

doulos

Hold me

It gripped me
this brave girl
naked
at the feet
of an Icon
Tata hold me!
I hurt
father
why did
you leave
so soon?
my hope
left
with you Baba
I don't care
what they say
who sees
my soul
naked
is nothing
when
pain
overwhelms
they
do not care
all of them
they fight
brutalise
and
rape
they are small
you
a giant
please come
back
just hold me
once
a tear
flows
from
bronze eyes
washes
her
covers
her
naked body
soothes
her hurt
calling angels
to
protect her
a daughter
a mother
a child
a woman
August
celebrates
you
my girl
and I
celebrate you
my child
I love you
peace and love be with you
my brave sisters
all alike
I honour you
forever
amen
doulos



fArt

So Orkney farted
and the whole
country was trembling
thankfully
damage was limited
and lives spared
bar one
it is not funny
earth quakes are
serious
Haiti
is a good example
the devastation
still visible
years on
it is most likely
that mining
was the cause
of our quake
we do not know
it shook us
and reminded us
that we are
miniscule
in the greater
scheme
of the Universe
Now I read
the whole
exploration drive
of finding
ET
is based
on a fart
I am serious
I quote
" biosigniture"
can theoretically
be detected
in far off planets
atmosphere
so our scientists
are spending
trillions
on finding
evidence
of a fart
al be it
miniscule
like a
bacterial fart
we all know
from said
scientists
that, Down Under
sheep farts
are a major concern
for global warming
I shit you not
let me
spare you
the toilet humour
it is a fact
these people
are serious
and want to
be taken serious
and governments
allow
research
based
on this
momentous discovery
Now
I could
splatter
a canvass
with
a wet one
and call it art
and it could
theoretically
be sold
for millions
that is
the gullibility of man
in action
for all
to see
we want to believe
there is
something else
there must be
something else
to save us
from ourselves
it is not
good enough
that
there is a God
The Creator
we have to find
something else
however ludicrous
our motivation
for doing so
searching for
a needle
in a haystack
will be easier
than searching
for evidence
of a fart
in the
endless universe
well my friend
it will be
easier
for a camel
entering heaven
through
they eye of a needle
than finding,
what they
are wasting
valuable recourses on
the "missing link"
is missing
period
we will never know
the knowledge
of good and evil

עֵץ הַדַּעַת טוֹב וָרָע /

 Etz ha-da'at tov va-ra

so we die

peace and love

be with you my brothers and sisters

forever

amen

doulos

Angel

a Yazidi girl praying
So they will be hunted
be destroyed
because
they believe not
what their enemies believe
an ancient people
their religion
predating Islam
and Christianity
some believe
to be
Devil worshippers
not so
they are more
Christian
than anything else
Can I
justify
hating a Satanist?
maybe
it depends
on my belief system
If I truly
am Christian
I shall only hate
what they do
and these people
suffering their
73d genocide
They believe in the Creator
they believe
seven Angels
rule the world
and one
is a fallen Angel
but they believe
this fallen Angel
was exonerated
because
he redeemed himself
their God is monastic
like ours
therefor the Angels
are part of it
they are
intolerant
of Islam
they deny
being devil worshippers
alas my fiends
it once more
comes down to
good and evil
and our perception
thereof
can there never
be peace?
an I
what do I
make of this
I believe in love
to me
Jesus
represents Love
and my religion
is also persecuted
hated and ridiculed
do we really know?
anything?
I experience my God
in so
many ways
I hold fast
I say
no one
has the right
to be intolerant
of another's beliefs
let alone
persecute them
but we are man
forever restless
forever
agitated
never
satisfied
our problem is
we want to be God
not servants of God
we also rebel
Like Lucifer did
yet
we are
mere humans
devoid of
celestial power
stop the killing
stop persecuting
our brethren
whether they
believe
or do not
am I to judge?
No
and a thousand
times no
it is enough
I believe
what I believe
and grant you
the same
Peace and love be with you
my brothers and sisters
human us all
forever
amen
doulos



old

 “We won’t get anything from God unless we have a son, because God’s covenant gives the land to my son, and from my son I will inherit the land. We’re getting old, and I don’t have a son, Sarai…”
So it all started
all the turmoil
all the pain
all the hatred
all retribution
the whole
cauldron
we call
the middle east
an old man
whishing
for a son
I know
I do not have a son
my seed
denied me one
and now
it seems
impossible
for me
to ever
hold a baby
I can call son
rightly
or wrongly
Abraham
could not wait
his wife
granted him Hagar
to fulfil his dream
the God
granted her a son
and we know
what happened
since then
so
should I try
should I find
a young wife
to give me
a son
I love
my wife
with all
my heart
and I know
she would
try
but would it
be fair
to her
to me
our destiny
for old seed
to bloom
once more
one last
time?
I love my daughters
and hope
they shall provide
a grandson
and if not
I shall
love them
for eternity
I sigh
God
it is
in your
hands
Selah
may peace and love
be with you
my brothers and sisters
forever
amen
doulos