My Diary June 2014 onwards

Mine

 

 

 

It is mine

all mine

in a small Dorp

in the Eastern Transvaal

I remember showering with miners

after being underground

and I remember

 playing on the mine dumps

all alone with my air gun

I remember owl nests

with gory rat remains

I remember thirst and walking

for miles on the dumps

it was eerily quiet

I liked being alone

and I liked wandering off

and the black girl?

well it was the librarians fault

she allowed me to wander the isles

in the Dorp library unattended

for many hours

I looked at illicit pictures

of bantu women

in national geographic

and other books

and fell in love

the were earthy

they were real

they had magnificent breasts

their shiny black bodies alluring

I was but a little boy

locked into my own world

unaware that my mind

was on forbidden tracks

that I viewed the enemy

that I was entranced

by forbidden fruit

one day, I promised myself

shall I taste

shall I drink

from the dark well

the surreal landscape

of fantastic form

of yellow and rusted metal

was my lonely playground

and I did

I did drink from the well

in a forbidden place

next to a mine dump

it was my destiny

one I created for myself

a blonde boy

lost in the arms

of an African Queen

it is mine

my mine

my thoughts

my dreams

in my mine dorp

it shaped a country

transformed a landscape

are the legacy

of a torn country

built on a mine

the colours of crystals

seeping from the dark depths

of forgotten mines

became a rainbow nation

honed from blood and sweat

our sweaty bodies

groaning in ecstasy

mixing oil and water

forming nectar

so sweet

so forbidden

so mine

Peace and love be with you

my brothers and sisters

all mine

forever

amen

doulos

 

 Abuse

 

 

Ok be the judge

do you know someone?

do you know an abused child?

do you know an abused woman?

an abused husband?

an old person?

yes you do

and so do I

but we have buried

our heads in the sand

this debate about

the Springs Monster

asks hard questions

from society

I know a family

where things do not seem right

months without electricity

small children always dirty

teenagers not going to school

criminal activity and drugs

and I have not reported them

I have not told the Police

or welfare

Why?

My wife and I discussed it

we have tried to help

Would the children be better off

in an orphanage?

the teenagers in jail?

do we fail them

by not speaking

how many other families

suffer in similar ways

or worse?

and they live in the suburbs

not I a squatter camp

The whole system fails them

The State,Security cluster,

Health and Welfare

and Education.

all fail them

They have a right

to live a better life

we all agree

Their house is For Sale

so the problem

will move elsewhere

recently it hit

closer to home

literally

we did not know

The grandparents

uncles and aunts and cousins

did not know

we suspected something

did not get involved

where prevented from it

by court orders and threats

until the State finally

stepped in after 11 years

until a child

spoke to a caring Teacher

their healing

will take many more years

than the eleven years

they suffered in silence

so do we speak?

do we get involved?

are our collective conscious

 stirred enough?

to act

 people make bad choices

marry wrong partners

and suffer in silence

as a consequence

instead of seeking help

they self "medicate"

with drugs and alcohol

and immoral acts

and worsen the situation

sometimes beyond repair

This debate

is necessary

it is overdue

the fabric of our society

of family life

is torn and shred

and needs repair

desperately

so please speak out

for the sake of

the fragile

the weak

we owe

them

that much

peace and love be with you

my brothers and sisters

and may we care enough

to speak

forever

amen

doulos

 

 

 Poor boy
I have to share the story
of  poor servant
from the 17th century
and his unserimonial burial
imidiatly Bohemian Rhapsody
played in my mind

 A full scale reconstruction of the skeleton
 

 

 

Upon use of the cellar as a grave, it appears that the surviving occupants of the home continued to unceremoniously deposit trash, food remains, broken bottles and plates into the trash pit. While the burial had a distinct lens of clay overtop of it, suggesting that the occupants may have used the dense, easily packed clay to cover the corpse and its smell, trash was located in the deposit only inches from the burial itself. In his summary report, Dr. Owsley noted “the location and informality of this burial with nontraditional positioning of the body present a marked contrast to other Colonial burials dating to the last half of the 17th century.” Owsley remarked that the grave excavation was given little attention, noting that the floor is uneven and the grave was much too small for the body. The most revealing component of the burial was the fragment of Milkpan used to press the body into the too-small shaft, and the contemporaneous trash deposited adjacent the burial.  

 

 

 

 



The Leavy Neck skeleton tells an important story not found in the Archives or most history books- the archaeological evidence tells the story of an indentured servant who toiled in the burgeoning settlement of Providence. His ultimate deposition in the cellar simply reinforces the realities of a difficult existence; particularly for indentured servants. His unfortunate demise will add important information to our understanding of life and death in the 17th century Chesapeake. As Hobbes notes in his 1651 “Leviathan”, the life of man in his natural state is solitary, poor, nasty,
brutish and short, a perfect analogy for the life of this indentured servant.
 

I shall share some words and their meanings
from this song
for those who play vinyl backwards
to reveal the "true" meaning

 

 Freddie Mercury wrote the lyrics, and there has been a lot of speculation as to their meaning. Many of the words appear in the Qu'ran. "Bismillah" is one of these and it literally means "In the name of Allah." The word "Scaramouch" means "A stock character that appears as a boastful coward." "Beelzebub" is one of the many names given to The Devil.

Mercury's parents were deeply involved in Zoroastrianism, and these Arabic words do have a meaning in that religion. His family grew up in Zanzibar, but was forced out by government upheaval in 1964 and they moved to England.
Mercury may have written "Galileo" into the lyrics for the benefit of Brian May, who is an astronomy buff.
The name "Bohemian" in the song title seems to refer not to the region in the Czech republic, but to a group of artists and musicians living roughly 100 years ago, known for defying convention and living with disregard for standards. A "Rhapsody" is a piece of Classical music with distinct sections that is played as one movement. Rhapsodies often have themes. (thanks, George -
Some will disagree; others will have an “ah ha” moment when I tell you that this song is about The Death Penalty in the United States.

still interested
read the facts here
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=685

I just had to honour this 17th century slave
and what is more fitting
than the haunting beauty
of this brilliant piece of music
peace and love be with you my brothers
slaves and freemen alike
forever
Amen
doulos


 

 addict

 

 But for the grace of God
there goes I
we all did it
we all experimented with
addictive substances
at least most of us did
cigarettes, weed or alcohol
we survived
most of us did
some don't
we rushed to our home
in rural KZN
because he went off the rails
again
he degrade himself
made a total fool of himself
even walked naked in town
in broad daylight
My anger was justified
not only is he harming himself
he also harms all around him
even his 80 year old grandmother
he had a bright future
in front of him
he fell for the lies
of foreign strangers
even forsaking his religion
he was awarded with addiction
we all read the story
of a mother who killed her son
because of it
then there are fools
publicly stating
they "only sold" drugs
but did not use it
that ,you idiot
is as bad as killing someone
in cold blood
I know
we rushed away
to try and make sense
out of the misery
that drugs
always cause
when the weak
falls for it
fortunately
there is still justice
in this land
the investigating officer
commented
"He is intelligent,
he is not mad yet,
he can recover"
so he will sit
in jail for 14 days
and them
he will be
sent to rehab
for at least two years
then maybe
just maybe
by the grace of God
will we have our son back
peace and love be with you
my brothers and sisters
and may your children be spared
the hell of addiction
forever
amen
doulos


Ever

you do not wipe out life
using ctrl, alt, delete
your hard drive may perish
your motherboard too
but your RAM
remains
quantum physics
has a theory
that consciousness
is forever
and merely moves
to another universe
when our bodies expire
there it recreates its vessel
and happily keep
on existing
forever
I know little
about computers
less about cyberspace
and nothing about physics
but I know
forever
and
ever
yes
we falter
we make mistakes
wrong choices
we let go
of our "selves"
we regret
we despair
we even try
to unlike
our lives
we decide
our sell by date
has come
our best before
date
a distant memory
our packaging
is worn
and torn
decaying
fast
our
content
spoiled
poisonous
we are
expired
right?
wrong

your song
like
the word
is forever
peace and love be with you
my brothers and sisters
forever
amen
doulos



ass

He was old
his loins dry
his desire
still burning
to have a son
his wife was bare
she wanted to please him
and gave him
a young nubile woman
to satisfy him
and bare him a son
sounds familiar
well yes
to  me it does
been there, done that
if only
he did not enjoy it
so much
if only he could get enough
of her young body
she tried everything
to get him to
love her again
and then
a son was born
it was "dat ass"
that started it all
Abraham banished her
and her son
things at home
was getting
out of hand
the madam and the maid
at loggerheads
we do not read
much more about Ishmael
in the Bible
only that he will be
like a wild ass etc.
In the Islamic world
he is revered as a prophet
the father of the Arabs
the compilers of our Book
conveniently omitted
that part of the story
my Calvinist
sensibilities
would not be able
to digest that
they thought
I mean really
this old man bonking
this maid and all
it was illegal
it was outrageous
and in South Africa
it was hidden
deep in our conscious
I relate
to this story
all of it
even the bits
our forefathers
left out of the bible
now do you understand
Boko Haram
do you understand
sectarian violence in Nigeria
do you understand
that God's ways
are not man's ways
do you understand
they deliberately
kept us in the dark
they are the cause
of the conflict
because they thought
they knew
 better
those scribes of our
beloved book
the result
God seems to be
this irrational
angry Deity
Yet
Hagar was the mother
of many nations
Her son revered
by millions
be careful what you read
and more careful
how you interpret
Holy books
peace and love be with you
my brothers and sisters all
forever
amen
doulos