My Diary December2014 onwards

Letting Go

I have a fear of heights
inexplicably so
when I was small
one of my pastimes
was jumping of roofs
when I was small
sounds far off
yet it was
yesterday
our time
in our shell
is limited
time endless
letting go
of the body
that hurts
that thinks
that decays
that is
difficult
my bruises
are healing
the cause
lingers on
like a cancer
my soul
is pining
for the wide
outdoors
pining for aloneness
it wants to soar
amongst
the stars
my soul
knows not
the fear
of height
my body remembers
my soul forgives
forgets
is free
my body labours
with boulders
of guilt and regret
on it's shoulders
pulling in the yoke
of it,s
self inflicted slavery
I have one gift
for my body
I am setting
it free
of the fear
of death
to live freely
like the birds
in the sky
like a seed
in the wind
a falling raindrop
that knows
it's purpose
is timeless
so am I
timeless










Small Steps
 

 

 

the class of 2014

"K" is done

with Primary school

and she did well

very well

ended  the year of

on a high

and for me

my family's joy

and heartache

is the measure

of my own

success

or

failure

a hard year

a year

full of pain

I saw

two brilliant

young lives

hell bent

on self destruction

I saw

the devastation

to themselves

and those

surrounding them

I tried in vain

to support

help

and give advice

alas

another wrong choice

put an end

to all

attempts

to make

them realise

the peril

of their actions

and me

if you "read" me

there is more

between the lines

than the eye

can see

I learnt one

valuable lesson

again

patience

is faith

period

my garden

is in full bloom

years of patience

planning

and making

things work

is finally

paying of

the colour scheme

choice

of plants

and care

makes it

a

paradise

for birds

and is

easy on the eye

small things

that gives me joy

my daughter blossoming

coming into her own

her sister

taking her

on a holiday

to  the coast

my granddaughter's smile

her unbridled

joy

and her love

for Oupie

our granddaughter

feeling at home

in our house

and her

siblings

the little boy

that runs up to me

jumping into my arms

without me ever

having met

his father

small things

small steps

my unwavering

faith

brought on

by reluctant patience

is opening

a universe

of possibilities

Fixing small

things

my teeth

my hearing

inserts

for my shoes

glasses

with whole frames

not fixed

with wires

smiling

without

worrying

if somebody sees

small things

small steps

and I

shall welcome 2015

with open arms

knowing

I am

 "getting there"

Peace and love be with you

my brothers and sisters

and may your tomorrows

be full of joy and prosperity

and may your today's

be a joy

forever

amen

doulos