Mandali

Mandali

I used this photo more than once. I had others they are lost and I had trophies,they are also lost.The memories however remain. I  ended in the ring by default. That is a lie, I ended up in the ring because I was forced to become a man.I never had an option and the only reason I persisted is because I wanted to prove to my mother I was worthy to be called her son.

I was born scared.Today I know it was not fear but insecurity. I was introverted,preferred my own company and love exploring the outdoors on my own. I had dreams,i read a lot and spent hours in the Library.  Fighting was the last thing on my mind untill one day a bully acosted me in the street on the way from school.

You know the scene where one boy pushes the other around calling him names and daring him to fight and a lot of other boys gathering edging him on and calling you a coward and a sissy and a moffie etc.

So my mother happened to pass by and stop. She was furious not because the bully wanted to bliksem(hit) me but because I refused to lift my hands. Eventually she drove off shouting at me that I am a lafaard (coward) and that I am no longer her son as she does not have cowards for sons.

As luck will have it(see the irony) my dearest ductail moegoe brother(he is actually a nice guy) saw me at a cafe where another bully bliksimmed(pummeld) me good and solid and that was the cherry on the Cake. Our hero,my brother and his mother's only non-coward son alive took it upon himself to make a man out of me. he is one who also tried to buy the first birthright off our eldest sister because he firmly believed he should be the chosen one.

Well I ended up boxing and it was grueling for me. I however put my heart and soul into it, like I still do when I tackle anything new in my life, I got up extra early in the morning and went for a jog and then when home to make porridge for breakfast.

On boxing nights I ran to the club and I ran back. I became extremely fit. My mother used to feed me raw eggs mixed with honey and cinnamon and milk before a fight.

The one thing I wished for was those shiny white soft boxing boots like the ones Casius Clay wore. he was not Mohammad Ali to me.Alas we were too poor to afford them. I listened fights on the radio and also prayed my hero's would win. I was passionate.

I won lots of trophies and won lots of fights until one day I was rated too high by my trainers and they put me into the ring against a guy older than me that was also a regional champ. I got into the ring and stood in the corner waiting for the bell. Seconds before the bell he stormed and was not stopped and I crumbled under the onslaught but I kept on fighting. Eventually my corner threw in the white towel and that was the end of my boxing career and the beginning of my fighting career.

I was livid, i felt cheated, he caught me off guard and I could never get back into the fight after that. I wanted to meet him again but my mother was shocked.maybe by the realization that she forced her timid soft son into a boxing ring and now had to see him bleeding.

Not long after that and I shall never forget I was on my way way home after swimming. The school bully was a superb athlete with a nasty personality and attended the same boxing club as me but was older than me. What he did not know is that I watched him and analysed his style and new his weak points and I knew I could beat him. He stopped me from taking a shortcut through the park. I gave him the hiding of his life with bare fists  and did not get off him until I was dragged away. Unfortunately for him there were a lot of children swimming that day and lots of girls on top of it.He was a street-fighter,I was an artist like Ali. I took up Judo after boxing and when he stormed me I backed off quickly and he lost his balance and stormed head on into an uppercut and then I let loose  of all fury. I let go of all of my frustration and if I was not stopped I would have killed him as all the suppressed anger and all the hurt of the past flooded my being and I let loose a storm.

Years later I was force into another school because dear brother called me a problem child when I complained about his behavior and debauchery.i was taken away from my friends. i was doing well in school and I was ripped away and I was frustrated and angry. I became a bastard on the rugby field and fought my way into the first rugby team. One day we played my old school and I let them have it. I cracked my arm  during the first minutes of the game but did not stop playing. We lost the game but I won the fight I tackled the shit out of them.One guy I smeared into the ground mercilessly asked me what he had done to me to deserve that and I just ignored him.

It was time to choose prefects and my friend's cousin was favorite to become Head Boy.It went to his head and though we were wing partners in the first team he tried his luck with me at the boarding school trying to boss me. The head boy of the Boarding and also first team Captain. school was my friend and he invited him to his Balcony and then had me called and he gave us a pair of Boxing gloves to sort out our differences

Big mistake, he sucker punched me when I turned around after telling Doep it was not necessary I would sort it out on my own.The next day he became Head boy with a shiner and lots of scrapes and bruises. 

Then came the Army and I finished my basics at 5 SAI and we were spending time at the shooting range. The RSM was walking behind the lines and although I wore earplugs the continues thundering of hundreds of automatic rifles for days on end was driving me insane. It was like that since i was small.I hated noise and I hated people shouting at me but I was timid.

The RSM kicked my buddy next to me between the legs because he raised his head instead of his leg when his rifle jammed.Before I knew it I was on the back of a motorbike back to the base. All my anger and frustration again got the better of me and a madman with a fully loaded automatic rifle is a scary sight.yet I was not mad.he pushed the wrong button.After that I was not allowed to even carry matches as i was considered to be so dangerous. and was posted of to defense Head Quarters.

Yes mommy your son is not a coward and never was or never would be.If you approached the "problem" in a different way I would have excelled in anything that I was tasked to do, even fighting. Yes I hated it because violence is senseless and does not acquire skill. It is brutal and dumb and unimaginative and see, I am an artist like Ali was and when they mess with me they will find to their surprise they picked a fight with the wrong guy and yes I am  scared there is no shame to that but I am also brave

Now that is off my chest at last. love you Mommy may you rest in Peace and tell Daddy he

can be proud of me although I cannot remember him I was too small when he died.