My Diary April 2014 onwards

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My heart and my mind

are fighting it out

for supremacy

in my being

My mind reasons

it knows the answers

my heart retorts

I am the answer

and then there is silly me

being bobbed along

the ocean of emotion

I am a man

I am writing girlie things

I am 53 years old

but I toy with feelings

of one much younger

all because

I do not want

someone to give up

I know the feeling

I was there

at the ebb of life

even lower

in the gutter

I found myself

Now I say to you

Yes you

Vibrant young woman

rise up

recreate yourself

tear  of the pain

rip of the anger

like an old blouse

and clothe

yourself with love

cover your nakedness

with courage

fold yourself

in luxurious joy

reach out

and take

what is yours

what is you

they lied to you

you lied to yourself

when you gave up

I remind you

of your school years

your confidence

your radiant beauty

you were on

the threshold

of a successful  life

they lie

you still are

they broke you down

stole away your joy

now break free

reclaim your space

an old fool

will be there

to help

and will put

your hand

in the hand

of the creator

and together

you will recreate yourself

peace and love be with you forever

Amen

doulos

 

 

egg

 

I won the most important race
of my consciousness
when a man and a woman
embraced in the throes
of love
climaxed
and I swam
for dear life
to be first
through the dark tunnel
I swam
racing the hordes
the knowledge
egged me on
towards
the pulsating orb
till I fused
with the mother egg
and I was me
simple

 

so now I give you Q

Ok Q was born

see the animation

on my website

and Q

represents Life

the combination

of Moringa and quail eggs

are a powerful

stimulant

for male vitality

I know

my pump

with apologies

 to Christiaan Barnard

were not pumping so well

clogged up

and tired

it needed help

and help it got

it got a turbocharger

it is now

robotic

and my other pump

the smaller one

jumped with joy

and after taking

"the cure"

for weeks

it arose

in all it's

morning glory

like always

get my drift?

watch this space

and may

peace  and love

and healthy blood pressure

be with you forever

my brothers and sisters

amen

doulos

 

Easter

 

Ok Easter is coming
but first our trip  to Sun City
We left at 4 Am
returned at 9Pm
the roads are potholed
and hazardous when dark
The place is expensive
for South Africans
two small bottles of water
a plastic glass and ice
at the royal price of R35
Krissmonne went
to take part in
The Battle of the Giants
don't know about GI Ants
but it was colourful
with our youth
dancing their hearts out
after a full day
of extreme sensory overload
I was exhausted
and elated
I saw Krissie
giving it her all
and although she did
not walk away with a prize
she was chirpy
she new they were good
the crowd made then know
they were
I said never again
always do
just to go again
and now Easter
I am making
traditional pickled fish
and yes we remember
and know what
this time means to Christians
and the egg ?
Eggs first became associated with Easter in Medieval Europe.
The Church forbade people to consume eggs during Lent and as such,
the eggs laid during the 40 days would be preserved and stored.
 With an abundance of eggs, they would be consumed on Easter.
 Orthodox Christians in Greece and the Middle Easter
 dye their eggs red to represent
 the blood of Christ
shed at his crucifixion.
The bunny is another story
a Pagan one
So I wish you
peace and love
my brothers and sisters
and my Christ's Mercy and Grace
be with you forever
Amen
doulos

 

East ER

Christianity needs ER
and it seems the
Atheists in China
are going to provide it
with the Church in China
fast becoming the biggest
grouping of Christians
So you remembered Christ
this weekend
when you drove past the beggar
gave a road hog a finger up
hugged Bacchus a bit too tight
and neglecting to hug
your loved ones

I finished my medical procedures
drank a heap of drugs
I try to force food
down my reluctant throat
it wants to gag me
I am dead tired
exhausted from
my stay in hospital
drained by life's pressures
Stress boulders on my shoulders
strung steel keeping
my pounding head up
then I smile
a sweet loving girl
kissing three doggies
offers me a drink
dips her tiny dirty
finger in it
to prove it is ok
I remember
two small children
on the way
to their first holiday ever
Stinking up the car
with upset tummies
tummies not used
to rich food and sweets
abused children
under nourished
their loving mother
working all hours
to keep food on the table
did not know her mother
virtually starved them
during the day
while listening to
Springbok Radio
and smoking Stuyvesant
pack after pack
while playing solitaire
I remember cold pumpkin
I remember
a black woman
sharing her pap and maroggo
with a little blond boy
Yes that was me
Surprised
You did not know?
you do  know a lot
about me do you?
just that
I am different
Yes I know
they are abused
yes I know
the wild boy has  a condition
his skin is sensitive
and when he complains
about the agony
he is klapped
and called a moffie
the young girl
acting as a mother
to her siblings
mature beyond her years
the baby
soaking up love
kissing everyone
 and thing n sight
They need love
they need nourishment
circumstance
robbed them
of their joy in life
their mother is drained
shackled
broken down
uncertain and scared
the boy's skin
needs to be sensitised
the needs medical care
they all do
the little blond boy
aches
he knows all too well
and tries to help
his own abused body
battered and bruised
from years
of wrong decisions
so you remember Christ
this
weekend
you do not understand
why
I am not still in bed
recuperating
I thank you my friend
and your big hearted
warm and loving family
for affording me
an opportunity
to breathe freely
to play and enjoy themselves
and I know
We remembered Christ
the seven of us
on the Lekkerkry farm
you see
we were all different
in our sameness
may peace and love be with you
my brothers and sisters
and may you always
remember Christ
Amen
doulos